Listening Without Reacting:

How Your Nervous System Shapes Communication

By Sheetal Ajmani, MD 

 

Are you often thinking about what you’re going to say next instead of actively listening to the person speaking?

 

This question came up during a leadership workshop I facilitated in Raleigh, North Carolina.

 

The workshop focused on emotional and nervous system regulation, and for this group, the most persistent questions centered around communication — specifically:

 

• How do I manage anxiety and restless nights anticipating how others might react when I need to communicate something difficult?
• How do I listen without becoming reactive, so I can fully understand what someone is trying to convey?

 

What’s interesting is that the answer to both questions lies in understanding the role of the nervous system in stress responses.

 

When you experience stress, your sympathetic nervous system is activated. This part of your nervous system helps you react to perceived threats. While necessary in certain situations, it is difficult to communicate calmly, clearly, and with a broader perspective when in this state.

 

The solution, then, is twofold:

 

First, recognize when your sympathetic nervous system is activated and resist the urge to respond while in that state.

 

Second, engage practices that help shift your nervous system toward the parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) state, where you feel safer, steadier, and more able to respond thoughtfully.

 

In my speaking engagements, I guide participants through a brief 7-minute practice that integrates five specific tools they can apply in real-life situations — whether in a boardroom, a difficult conversation, or a phone call — to support calmer, more intentional communication.

 

If this is an area your organization or leadership team is navigating, you can learn more about my speaking work below:

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